Why is it that when it comes to emotional and mental issues no one can talk about it. Is it so bizzare or so scary that people cant handle it or is it the fact that the majority of us have some sort of depression or anxiety and we dont like facing our own faults.
A month ago I chose to get help for my severe anxiety and depression. I have been putting it off for the past 4 years because I was ashamed of my problem. So for all that time I learned how to ignore the constant body aches, the lack of motivation to even get out of bed each day, and the constant memory loss because I couldnt escape the fog I was in. In the past month I have had more clarity and more motivation than I can ever remember having. Looking back now I wish I hadnt been so terrified of what people would think or how they would treat me, because frankly it doesnt matter what anyone else says or does. For the first time in a long time I feel like I'm apart of society. I can focus more, laugh more, and truly embrace and remember each precious moment with my baby.
The downside to all of this is having to relive all of my painful past and confront it and deal with it in order to truly get past it. Without going into detail, let me tell you, this is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Living every bad choice, everything someone said about me or to me that affected me, every horrible moment. But I know that I will get through it. I know that I will make it out as a better person and as a better mother.
I encourage anyone with any type of depression to stop hiding from your feelings, because you cant. They longer you ignore them the stronger it grows.
xoxo
rae
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