As most of you now know me and Danny are separated. In the past 4 years we have shared so much of life with each othe the good and the bad. The best thing about us is kinsey. She is the light in my darkness and the reason I strive to be better each and everyday. With everything going on she has been stronger than I could've ever hoped for. When I think about everything she could be thinking or feeling it breaks my heart more than it's already breaking not having my best friend with me everyday. Nothing in life prepares you for moments like this. No one can explain to you how confusing every thought is.
Tonight she gave me the most amazing gift a child can give their parent. I was standing in the kitchen talking to my mom and started crying. Usually she giggles when people cry cause we've always made a game of it. This time she knew it was different. She looked at me with concern in her eyes and reached up to me so I leaned down and she simply gave me a hug. I can't put into words how that small hug made me feel. It was like a huge weight lifted off my chest. I could hear the thought in her head through that hug. "Mommy it's gonna be ok."
And she's right it will be ok. Right now everything feels broken but I know it will be ok. Knowing that keeps me going, keeps me from breaking down. How is it that children know so much and understand so much and with more trust than we adults could ever hope for. It's that innocence I miss. Before the world made everything so messy.
Ok that's it for now my brain is too full to put anything into understandable sentences. I will post again soon..
Xoxo
Rae
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